Our dear friends at Park Slope Parents provide us with more material to add to this weeks Brooklyn Scam Fest. This one, though, is a more old-fashioned one than the energy scam running wild. Per an email on the PSP list that came our way:

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. There was a woman who approached me yesterday while walking up Union toward Grand Army Plaza. She had a thick manila envelope in her hand and was looking for someplace called “Post 96.” She seemed confused and lost and told me that she just found this envelope by the pay phone on Flatbush and wanted to return it, but it had no name or address on it, only this cryptic information, “Post 96.” I suggested she open the loosely sealed package to see if there was any identifying information inside. When she did, it was clear that it was a wad of cash with a note written on an index card saying something like, “Kareem, our ship has come in–here’s your share, $60,000.” Of course, she immediately stuffed it in her bag at that point and began to hyperventilate.

Well, to make a very long story shorter, I walked with this woman for a little bit, trying to help her figure out what to do. She seemed genuinely flustered and shaken up. But she clearly had a scam in
mind and at the end of this very long yarn, was a proposal (HA!) to stuff half the money under my mattress, not tell anyone, and give her the serial numbers from $3000 of my own cash. She had a “partner” who was her “boss,” a lawyer, at her office whom she was calling and getting “advice” from throughout all this, too. Of course, when she found out that I neither had $3000 dollars in my bank account, nor was interested in getting half the money and secretly stuffing it under my mattress and not using it for 60-90 days, she lost interest in me.

So, beware of a woman with a wad of “found cash” and looking for someone to “share it with.” I must say on my behalf, that throughout this whole scene, I kept thinking that this was some kind of candid camera thing and that at any moment a camera crew was going to pop out. Alas, they didn’t. That would have been a good story, too.

Also, beware of any emails that start “Dearest, I know this email will come as a surprise to you, but…” God, this crap is starting to give us as massive headache.

We do love our scam spam. And in the spirit of the week, here’s one that just dropped into our inbox with the subject line “Dearest One” from Miss Lilian:

Dearest One, My name is Miss Lilian,i got your contact as i search for a lovely friend today and became intrested in you,i will also like to know you the more,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture
for you to know whom i am.Here is my email address(mislilianpet@yahoo.co.uk) i believe we can move from here.I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.Miss Lilian Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life.hoping to hear from you today Yours Love Miss Lilian

Awe. Miss Lilian loves us from across the sea!!! And she didn’t even ask for money.