Ah, Sunday. Time for our Craigslist Missed Connection of the week. This week we try to connect two miserable cocksuckers sensitive souls who laugh at old homeless people. We sure hope these two scummy shit eating bastards ships passing in the New York night find each other:

We laughed at the homeless guy who pissed himself – m4w – 20 (Uptown A by W4 stop)

You were cute, dark hair, about 5’7″ wearing big cowboy boots. We smiled at each other once but I’m not good with striking up conversation. Thankfully, the old homeless man who was a few seats away came by reeking of piss. That’s when I noticed the stain on his outermost pair of pants. We both had a good laugh. Maybe we can meet up for coffee or something and laugh at other people?

Dudes, if ever there were two people in this freaking borough of ours who sound like they deserve each other, you two are it. Please find each other so that one day you’ll suffer a misfortune and assholes just like you when you were young will laugh at you. Please God, if you’re there, connect these two scumsuckers and give them a hellish relationship that rips each other’s souls to shreds, maybe leading one of them to hit the bottle and end up homeless pissing himself on the A train crying about his lost soulmate.