This is yesterday’s news, because we ran the story on Curbed early yesterday morning, and we’re sure some of the papers are going to be “discovering” the story and having some fun with it today, but The Future of Coney Island website URL was acquired by a Belgian porn entrepreneur. (The Post’s Rich Calder predictably reports the story as though he discovered it without crediting Curbed for breaking the news.) You can’t make up stuff like this. The URL wasn’t owned by Thor. It was held by Thor’s old PR firm, the Marino Organization, but Thor continued to use the site through the summer to promote its so-called Summer of Hope. The porn site allegedly can install malware on your computer that will cause an insanity of popups of breasts and derrieres and exchanges of bodily fluids popping up on your computer at random, so we’re not suggesting anyone go there. Just, please take our word for it: it’s not a Coney Island website anymore. The Future of Coney Island now says: “Voici un des meilleurs site porno du Net!! Rien que du sexe à télécharger à volonté!! Vous trouverez des milliers de vidéos sexe, video porno, videos x, vidéos pornos, vidéos xxx, enfin bref le rêve pour vous qui cherchez un bon site porno!!” One doesn’t need to understand a single word of French to get the gist of this. The site is registered to Davina Cukier in Brussels, who is in the porno website business. Who ever would have thunk the Future of Coney Island would turn out to be Biker Chicks in Heat and Lust on the Beach? Our suggestion: Somebody reopen the Shore Hotel right away with free 24/7 Belgian porn.

GL ANALYSIS
Evictions on Christmas Eve that result in Joe Sitt pictured as the Grinch in the New York Post and The Future of Coney Island website become a porno site? If those aren’t metaphors for the tragic comedy that Coney Island is becoming, we don’t know what it. Please, God, if you exist, help get this settled before we die of a combination of rage and laughing our asses off.