From our Sunday Brooklyn Craigslist Missed Connections Guest Poster, Miss Heather, comes the following charmer, which we believe is our first Missed Connection requiring bail to hook up…
Most people are unable— or more likely unwilling— to understand that some things are simply not meant to be. This is especially true when it comes to missed connections; hence why I never trifled with them. In the clarity that is 20/20 hindsight, I can state with 100% certainty that the one thing most people need protection from above anything else is their own questionable judgment. Like the poster of this week’s “Missed Connection”. Thankfully, the N.Y.P.D. lent her a helping hand(cuff):
Cute boy with glasses at Death By Audio Saturday – w4m
You smiled at me at death by audio this Saturday, it looked like you wanted to talk to me. I was bar tending and couldn’t get away to introduce myself. You were talking with my Guy friend Alison when I was handing out free sparks. You had a cute smile and glasses. I would have talked to you when I was done but i got arrested instead.
In May of 2002 I went on a date that will live in infamy. My suitor was less than spectacular, but on the subway ride home I thought it over and decided I would give him a second chance. That’s when fate decided to intervene and I ended up at a police station in Briarwood, Queens.
The particulars of my situation are too complex to go into here. Suffice it to say that I was the plaintiff. After trying to negotiate the new paperwork the District Attorney’s office had provided them and wrangling a chap who tried to set a token booth on fire with a Mr. Bubble bottle filled with lighter fluid, the police called it a night and I was driven home. After 24 hours of no sleep whatsoever, I finally dozed off at 8:30 a.m.
Thirty minutes later I was awakened by my telephone ringing. Thinking it was the D.A.’s office I picked up the receiver. It was my mother. After assessing my disheveled state she proceeded to chew me out for being lazy, sleeping late and not looking for work.
I wish I had more missed connections like this woman’s. I would gladly accept having a rap sheet if the long-distance drubbing I got that morning was for my own criminal behavior and not someone else’s. As my fellow (T)ex-pat Gibby Haynes sagely opined:
…the funny thing about regret is that it’s better to regret something you have done than to regret something that you haven’t done…
