When it rains it pours and, this week, it’s a Craigslist Sunday Brooklyn Missed Connections monsoon. There is so much weird and juicy goodness that we simply couldn’t decide, so we’re presenting all our top choices:

1)To the gentleman with the small penis that I brought home – w4m – 21 (Williamsburg)
Let me begin by saying I couldn’t even cup it in my hand. It was so small that I confused it with my pinky finger. We met on the dance floor and you had a high pitched voice. I was really drunk, you were looking to get laid. I told myself I wouldn’t do this anymore, but I brought you home. I was just curious as to when you left? You said you were going to the bathroom and then you never came back. It really doesn’t matter, because I passed out and forgot it all ever happened until this morning when I awoke to find something of yours on the floor. If you see this you left your boxers.

2) To all the hipsters who read Camus – w4m
Get over it. It’s so cliche. And you’re not even reading the book because you’re too busy looking around at other people to see if they’re looking at you. And get rid of those big glasses. Duh.

3) wednesday night – we scraped the drunk girl off the sidewalk – m4w – 34 (greenpoint)
it was me and my friend and you were with a guy and we all were trying to wake the girl sleeping on the sidewalk and once we did she flew into a rage and started howling like a banshee and pinching everyone’s cheeks. did she make it home okay?

4) your silver streak made me very pepé le pew… – m4w (L train)
standing next to you on the L train this morning, i was amused by, and very attracted to, your skunk-like silver streak of hair. you had me feeling very pepé le pew… alas, i read my newspaper and said nothing. i need a chance to be your skunk.