It’s the weekend, and time for that exercise in pathos, frustration and comedy called Missed Connections on Craigslist. This week, we abandon our usual haunt–the subway–for a gem that comes from a bar in Williamsburg. We found this one so, um, compelling and–sorry, Mr. Writer–such a freaking scream, that we can’t pass it up. We almost think it’s made up, but the scary part is that it might not be. Here it is:

Fork in the Road of Williamsburg – m4w – 28
Let me refresh your recollection of the evening. Me with my posse of Wall Street buds enjoying some brews in your hood while listening to some tunes. You there with your irritating hipster friends. I could see that you were all alone, surrounded by those pencil neck geeks and troll-like women. Our eyes met. Your mouth opened, you smiled, and you nodded in my direction. But then that Zelda with you began cock blocking me, and your group left. Mine stayed to catch the game.

I want you, Hipster Girl. I want to show you my loft in cutting – edge SoHo, which is where the real artists live. I want you to have a taste, just a taste, of the espresso that I am. I want you to ride the rocket that is my life. It’s pretty sweet.

Ditch the dorks and meet me, Hipster Girl of Williamsburg. Apart, we grow cold, but together we can make a wonderful beat on the bongo of my life. (Please do not write back if you have an STD.)

We have nothing to add to that.

Honorable Mention:
missed connection with vegan/vegetarian thanksgiving – 23